From Job Hunt to Job Prey

I got my hopes up a bit in the job search yesterday.   I suddenly received a couple of emails and a phone call about what I thought were jobs.   Turns out I was overly optimistic.

After listening to a torturous spiel from the woman who called promising her firm regularly lands people with jobs in every imaginable Fortune 500 company,  I finally got her to admit that her outfit would want me to pay them to make me the next CEO of IBM.   I somewhat undiplomatically told her that I’m clinging to what is perhaps a wildly insane goal that someone will pay me.

The emails were a bit less deflating.   The first was from a company where I applied for a Digital Marketing position.   Unfortunately, the email told me I was perfect for something called a Field Service Technician.  This is apparently a job installing, troubleshooting and repairing a type of oil field equipment.    As near as I can determine I have absolutely zero skills in that area.    I don’t do car repairs, home repairs or any other type of repairs because I’m really not handy.  My unhandiness is legendary.    My wife, Amy, has long chanted the refrain, “If you try to fix it, I will divorce you.”   It’s a mantra she adopted very early into our marriage after seeing the twisted results of my dismal display of skills.

The second email started off really well.   This company is impressed with my resume which I found amazing because I never sent it to them.  I’ve now learned that once you apply for any job on CareerBuilder.com your information is strewn like chum into the murky waters of “opportunity specialists.”   It was, however, a really polite and flattering email.  Today the same firm followed up with another email encouraging me to hurry because they only have a few current openings…for insurance salesmen.

I haven’t done sales except for a brief stint as a telephone solicitor in high school.   I’m not sure what would qualify me for that job other than I’m breathing.   However, as long as I am still breathing I’m not going to rule it out.

I’m also not going to dive in right away.   I have time to tread water a while longer in my job search.

However, I might change my tune as the career chase tide of uncertainty rises.

Lifeboat sign - Michael Main